So you’ve detected a toxic person in your midst, and you need to cleanse yourself of their venom. That can be easier said than done, especially if the little bundle of poison is someone you work with or (God forbid) live with. Although you can’t usually change other people, let alone the toxic, there are a few steps you can follow to deal with all those deadly nightshades. So detox yourself now with this three-point TLC technique.

 

T

Talk – to yourself, first and foremost. Talking to yourself might seem like the first sign of madness, but you need to let it sink in that no one has the right to make you their victim. Neither should you be giving your power away and letting another human being control you. Only then can you consider talking to them to draw their attention to their behaviour. This may seem like a waste of time if they’re not the sort to change, but it’s always worth a go. It’s quite possible that the bane of your life isn’t aware of how baneful they are and is willing to adapt if you express your concerns. But try to avoid any finger-pointing. Making the subject of your sentences yourself and not them might help to tone things down. For example, instead of ‘You make me feel…’, use ‘I feel…’ If things are kept reasonably civil, you might increase your chances of seeing some change.

 

L

Limit your contact. Like any toxin, the less you’re exposed to it, the healthier you’ll be, so if you value your health, reduce the amount of time you spend with them. This might be trickier if you share a desk with them (even trickier if you share a bed with them!), but tell yourself it’s self-preservation. And if avoiding them makes you feel mean, ask yourself how mean they’re being for you to resort to this kind of action. Even if it’s physically impossible to evade them, there are other limits that you can set. For instance, you might accept, or even welcome, a bit of harmless banter, but you can draw the line at verbal abuse. Establish your boundaries, and ensure that line in the sand isn’t crossed.

 

 

C

Cut them out of your life. Okay, this might take some doing if it’s someone you’ve got to have dealings with, but you can write people off in your mind even if you’re stuck with having them around. The point is to make it clear to yourself that they’re no longer a part of your world and that their toxicity therefore won’t harm you. The atmosphere may still be poisoned, but at least you won’t be drinking from the chalice. Instead, raise a glass in toast of your success in having survived this toxic gas attack and come out of it a little wiser. In fact, make it a detox smoothie. Cheers!

 

To see the kind of tricks that toxic people try to pull off, read our article The Dark Magic of Toxic People.